10. You get winded from knocking on the door.
9. You have to get another kid to chew the candy for you.
8. You ask for high fiber candy only.
7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over.
6. People say: “Great Keith Richards mask,” and you’re not wearing a mask.
5. When the door opens you yell, “Trick or …” and can’t remember the rest.
4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining orders.
3. You have to carefully choose a costume that won’t dislodge your hairpiece.
2. You’re the only person dressed like a Pirate in the neighborhood with a walker.
And the number one reason Seniors should not go Trick Or Treating …
1. You keep having to go home to pee.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Truth in Halloween
It was a dark…stormy…Halloween night….
A man was sitting in his living room when his door bell rings.
Thinking it was just another kid trick-or-treating, he grabs his large bowl of candy and answers the door.
Expecting another child dressed as a pirate or Super-hero….the man opens the door to find a well dressed 8-year old. He was wearing a simple grey suit with a white shirt and was carrying a brown briefcase.
The young child said, “Trick or Treat!”
The man asks the kids what he’s dressed up like for Halloween.
The kid says, “I’m an IRS agent.”
The kid this reaches into the man’s large bowl of candy, takes 28% of the goodies….leaves, and doesn’t say Thank You.
A man was sitting in his living room when his door bell rings.
Thinking it was just another kid trick-or-treating, he grabs his large bowl of candy and answers the door.
Expecting another child dressed as a pirate or Super-hero….the man opens the door to find a well dressed 8-year old. He was wearing a simple grey suit with a white shirt and was carrying a brown briefcase.
The young child said, “Trick or Treat!”
The man asks the kids what he’s dressed up like for Halloween.
The kid says, “I’m an IRS agent.”
The kid this reaches into the man’s large bowl of candy, takes 28% of the goodies….leaves, and doesn’t say Thank You.
Happy Halloween
A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won’t stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring.
He replies: “I have a question to ask you but I don’t want to offend you.”
She answers, “My son, you cannot offend me. When you’re as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I’m sure that there’s nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.”
“Well, I’ve always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.”
She responds, “Well, let’s see what we can do about that…..but #1, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic.”
The cab driver is very excited and says, “Yes, I’m single and Catholic!”
“OK” the nun says. “Pull over.”
The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make most people blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.
“My dear child,” says the nun, “why are you crying?”
“Forgive me but I’ve sinned. I lied and I must confess, I’m married and I’m Jewish.”
The nun says, “That’s OK. My name is Kevin and I’m going to a Halloween party.”
He replies: “I have a question to ask you but I don’t want to offend you.”
She answers, “My son, you cannot offend me. When you’re as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I’m sure that there’s nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.”
“Well, I’ve always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.”
She responds, “Well, let’s see what we can do about that…..but #1, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic.”
The cab driver is very excited and says, “Yes, I’m single and Catholic!”
“OK” the nun says. “Pull over.”
The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make most people blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.
“My dear child,” says the nun, “why are you crying?”
“Forgive me but I’ve sinned. I lied and I must confess, I’m married and I’m Jewish.”
The nun says, “That’s OK. My name is Kevin and I’m going to a Halloween party.”
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